Alabama Cycling Camp

We (Anne, Grace and Laura) spent a FANTASTIC week down in southern Alabama at Alabama Cycling Camp. Loads of base (ie easy to moderate pace) miles on roads smoother than a baby's bottom, warm temps (50's-60's) and sun, sun, SUN.




Besides superb riding, we were treated to great eats by Renee and loads of advice from special guest pro-cyclist Alison Powers (2009 NRC champ) of Team Vera Bradley

Things we learned at camp:
Views expressed are not necessarily representative of the all campers involved
Travel

BYOCM (bring your own coffee maker)

When negotiating hotel discounts do not ask for AAA, AARP, or such. Just nod knowingly when the manager asks if you have a coupon book (especially when he asks a second time)

Eating

Mike makes THE best waffles. Period.

Post ride, the answer to shower or food depends on the number of cyclists circling the table

You can always find pickeled pigs feet

A pitcher of margaritas is cheaper and more fun than 3 individual glasses

Hoop cheese is tasty

Hog jowls, $1.29 at Big C's grocery (advertised special)

Cycling rules of the road

The number of roadside pee stops is directly proportional to the number of men in the paceline (Corollary: Presence of women does not reduce the number of pee breaks)

Deer crossing signs shall be shot....repeatedly

The number and ferocity of dogs is inversely proportional to the value of the property being protected

Vultures circling overhead do not necessarily mean you're dead

An armadillo's defensive response of curling up into a protective ball has little effect on a speeding car.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To prove to the armadillo it could be done

The proximity of dwelling to the road is inversely proportional to the odds a pack of dogs will coming bursting out

Southern culture on the skids

"HELL IS REAL" (at least in the south where you're reminded on 20ft billboards)

Wild turkey is a bird that travels in flocks, not a drink

A Co-op in the south does not mean the same thing as in a college town (this is where farmers trade goods, not where you buy tempeh, wheat berries, or seitan)

If you read the local paper at the convenience store, "please put it back so others can read it"

No one gets upset if the flyer for the local picnic advertises: "No alcohol, Boys and Men Only"

If you are the prince of darkness, do not attempt to enter a Baptist Church. Just in case..."Satan stay OUT! Shake him OFF!"

Going green Southern-style: riding horses to the local grocery store

Woodsmen of World is an insurance company

Waving (with all fingers, not the middle one) is expected courtesy

Camp

Do not fall asleep on the living room couch with your mouth agape, someone will photograph you

Ditto for trying to bust any fancy yoga moves

While relaxing, curl up with a good (note)book

An open laptop attracts the male species

"Free candied pecan samples? Did someone say free candied pecans???"


Cycling technique

Always plan and memorize your route so you don't have to fold up a wall-sized map

If you get dropped by the lead group and manage to claw your way back on, announce your return (even if you're still gasping), least you catch a load of nose effluent upon your return

If you're male, compression tights MUST be worn with either a) a long baggy shirt b) baggy shorts c) both a & b

Old cyclists never die, they just go to Alabama